Top 10 Reasons You Know You Lived in China/Asia Too Long

Upon returning to the US, here are the Top 10 Reasons You Know you were in China/Asia too long:

10) You can understand everything that people say around you

9) When crossing the street, you feel uncomfortable because of the lack of speeding cars and bicycles. You wait until a car speeds by and then you sprint across stop on the yellow line, while both sides of traffic pass you and honk at you, then you proceed with another sprint until reaching the end of the street. This feels normal; people think you are suicidal.

8) You are driving, stop at a stop light, and wonder what happened to all the people riding bicycles.

7) When eating at a restaurant, you are not only surprised, but also a bit annoyed, by the kind waitress continually asking you how your meal is but you are also stunned, counter to logic, that you get free refills with iced tea

6) When an Asian-American speaks to you in English, you get startled.

5)  When you enter your local grocery store, you wonder, who in God’s name, eats all of this food.

4) You often bite your tongue, speak a bit more quietly, less often, and speak English using different grammatical structures. People look at you strangely when you repeatedly say, “Oh, I see, I see” or “Yes, I understand, I understand (as they would in Japanese). You think this is normal; they think you are from another decade.

3) You walk to the end of your block looking for fruit and vegetable stands.

2) You get sick of getting in the car to go everywhere.

1) You walk into a bar with your friend and you look around and see a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes and you comment, “that girl looks exotic” and your friend says, “Yeah, she’s an American, you idiot”